Five tips for getting your kids through primary school with no smart phone.

My son is 11 and just finishing Year 6 at primary school. He got a ‘dumb’ phone a few months ago and he ideally won’t be getting a smart phone until he is 14. I hope these tips might help you if you would like to get your kids through primary school without a smart phone.

Set expectations early

We started talking about phones a few years ago. We were clear that in our family we didn’t believe that any type of phone was necessary until the last 2/3 months of primary school. They know we believe a phone is a good tool for increased freedoms but that they’ll have their whole lives on devices and there is no big rush to get a smart phone and that social media is for older teens.

Be clear on your why

We have just hit the kids with facts. There is so much data that shows that smart phones are not great for kids and younger teens and once you see it you can’t unsee it. So we’ve told them in the same way we care about what they eat, what they watch on TV etc that delaying smart phones is something we think they will thank us for in a few years time.

Find like minded parents

My son’s closest 3 or 4 class pals also have not had phones so there has been no sense from him of feeling left out. I had some conversations in passing with some of the mums but it kind of happened naturally so they’ve all been in the same boat. This is probably key to why it has not been an issue for my son. With my 9 year old daughter I will be actively talking to other parents about delaying phones / going the dumb phone route so I think proactivity with conversations is really helpful. Don’t be afraid to bring it up to other parents.

Look at your own phone habits

This one was hard for me. I love a scroll but we’ve been mindful over the last year to be on our own phones less where we can. If one of the kids talks to me I try to put my phone down and also we’ve stopped ‘second screening’ when watching tv. I’ve made a point of not taking my phone to the loo too! The hope is they’ll mirror our behaviour when they do get smart phones.

Offer them opportunities for ‘digital’ connections.

We aren’t trying to make them live off grid so they have plenty of opps for connection with friends on and offline. Both kids have (limited) access to games like Roblox, Fortnite, Toca Boca and we encourage my son to call friends and family for a chat. My daugher has access to a platform called ‘Just Talk Kids’ too. They also do loads of sports and clubs where they are making connections and part of real life communities,